How to Reduce Conflict and Stress During a Divorce

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• Focus on negotiation rather than litigation to reduce stress and conflict during a divorce. 

• Hire a mediator to help facilitate communication between both parties. 

• Refrain from personal attacks and communicate openly and honestly with your former partner about your needs. 

• Settle custody for children legally with the help of a child custody lawyer to ensure their best interests are taken into consideration. 

• Prioritize your well-being throughout the process and engage in activities such as exercise, spending time with family and friends, and journaling. 

Divorce is a complex process, both emotionally and legally. It can be full of difficult decisions and conflict between you and your spouse, especially if the divorce is contested. The good news is you can take steps to reduce the stress associated with ending a marriage. Here are some strategies for minimizing fighting and anxiety during a divorce.

Focus on Negotiation vs. Litigation

The first step to reducing stress during a divorce is to focus on negotiation rather than litigation. This means that instead of going through court proceedings, you should attempt to come to an agreement with your former partner out of court. This approach is often cheaper and quicker than going through the courts, which can save time and money. Here’s how you can do this:

Hire a Mediator

One way to reduce conflict during a divorce is by hiring a mediator. A mediator is an impartial third party who helps both parties reach an agreement without resorting to litigation. They will listen to both sides of the story and help facilitate communication between them so they can come up with solutions that work best for everyone involved. Working with a mediator reduces the stress of negotiating on your own and helps ensure that all issues are heard and considered before reaching a decision.

Communicate Effectively

Another way to reduce conflict and stress in a divorce is to communicate effectively. This means being open and honest with your former partner about what you want and needs from the settlement. It’s important to remember that what may be acceptable to one person may not be acceptable to another, so it’s essential to maintain an open dialogue and respect each other’s wishes.

Refrain From Personal Attacks

It’s also important to refrain from personal attacks during a divorce. This can be difficult if you are feeling hurt or angry but try to focus on the issues rather than blaming the other person for the marriage breakdown.

couple talking to mediator while sitting in office couch

Settle Custody For Children Legally

If you have children together, hiring a child custody lawyer is important to ensure that all relevant arrangements are settled legally. This can help reduce conflict and stress for both parties as well as protect the child’s best interests.

What your lawyer can do is help you make sure that the custody agreement is fair and equitable, as well as help you navigate any other legal issues related to your divorce. For instance, they can advise you on how to prove you are the primary caregiver, divide assets and debts, and more.

Divorce is an emotionally and legally challenging process for those involved, but especially more so for children. Therefore, ensuring that their best interests are considered is of the utmost importance.

child holding teddy bear smiling with divorcing parents happily talking to lawyer in the back

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Lastly, it’s important to prioritize your well-being throughout this process, alongside resolving conflicts peacefully with your ex-spouse or partner when possible. Take time for yourself by engaging in these activities:


Exercising regularly can greatly reduce stress and keep your energy levels up during this difficult time. Exercise boosts endorphins, which can help improve your mood as well as give you more energy throughout the day.

Spend Time With Family and Friends

It’s important to surround yourself with people who can support you during this difficult time. Spend time with family and friends who can help take your mind off of the divorce and provide emotional support when needed.


Meditation is a great way to reduce stress and focus on the present moment. Even just a few minutes of meditation can be beneficial in resetting your mind and calming any anxiety or worries you may have.


Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to alleviate stress and boost mental clarity. Journaling can help you process your emotions, think more clearly about the situation, and come up with solutions that work for both parties.

Divorce is never easy, but there are strategies for reducing conflict and stress during the process if approached properly. Focus on negotiation rather than litigation, hire a mediator, and prioritize your well-being above everything else—these tips will help make the experience less stressful while helping ensure that all issues are addressed fairly before coming to an agreement together. With these strategies in mind, divorcing couples have more control over their situation while still getting the resolution they need in order to move forward in life separately yet peacefully.


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